The DC area (Washington DC, Northern Virginia, and Maryland bordering DC) is where I lived during my early twenties to mid-thirties. It’s where I became stable with my bipolar I and, as a result, started my career, met my husband, and had a baby. The DC area is a dynamic and transient place filled with many brilliant individuals and lots to do. When I was in my twenties (and early thirties, let’s be honest), when the bar and club scene was much more my jam, I would have hands down picked DC as my chosen locale. Pittsburgh definitely has a scene as well, and a fun one at that, but DC simply has more variety. But that is another blog post!

Here, I’ll discuss why Pittsburgh is a better fit for me, a parent with bipolar, than the DC area ever could be. I compiled a list of negatives and positives for each place so that you can see exactly why I feel this way based on my mental illness as well as having a family.

DC Negatives

• SO. MUCH. EFFING. TRAFFIC.

Closely related: the major lack of quality driving on four-lane highways and neighborhood streets alike. Simply following the rules of the road (obeying stop signs, red lights, etc.) seems beyond a startling number of DC drivers. I always hated driving or even being a passenger in a car in the DC area, but having my daughter along for the ride brought out anxiety in me like nothing else. This reason alone was enough to make me want to move.

• High cost of living, especially housing

We owned a home in Silver Spring, MD, which is very close to DC. But after having a baby we wanted more space, and we would’ve had to move far away from the city for what we needed at a price we could afford.

• No family nearby to help with our baby

Having at least occasional help from someone you trust is key, especially when the mom has bipolar but even if not. I know those of you who have kids understand.

DC Positives

• Much more diversity in terms of race, thought, and life experience (major, major plus!)

• So many job opportunities

I was able to keep my perfect-for-me DC job when I moved to Pittsburgh. I work from home after working in my organization’s DC office for almost a decade.

• The food options are vast and plentiful

For me, this was more important than one might think. Other than friends, what Bryan and I miss most about the DC area is the food.

Pittsburgh Negatives

• Fewer job opportunities for me

It would certainly be stressful and maybe impossible if I had to find a production editor job here in Pittsburgh.

• Being away from Bryan’s family

When we lived in the DC area, Bryan’s family was a 1.5-hour drive away depending on traffic—far enough that we didn’t see them as much as we’d like. But now we’re a 5-hour drive away, and the COVID-19 pandemic has made road trips nonexistent. It’s hard.

Pittsburgh Positives

• Many cultural events

We attend a lot more plays and musicals here in Pittsburgh than we did in DC, something Bryan and I really enjoy. The Pittsburgh theaters and other cultural events are mostly located in the city’s Cultural District, which is very accessible from where we live, while theaters and other venues in DC are more spread out. In DC, there are lots of events but also lots of traffic or a long metro ride to get there.

• Route 19!!!

The speed limit on route 19 maxes out at 45 mph on this glorious 2-lane road that makes getting on the highway unnecessary ~95% of the time—this is living. I can zip down to my parents’ house going southbound or drive north right into the city. It’s a baby highway, perfect for those of us who aren’t too keen on highway driving. Right now my beloved route 19 is under construction almost everywhere, but it doesn’t bother me. Route 19 deserves to be prettied up. This road makes my life so much easier, and my mental health is much happier because of it.

• The beautiful town I live in

This time around, I live in Upper St. Clair. I grew up in Washington, PA, and moved to DC after college. USC is about 20 minutes (straight down route 19!) from my parents, who live in Houston, PA. Other family is sprinkled in between. USC is truly beautiful. The Allegheny County property taxes are high, and they show in the quality of roads and, more importantly, our stellar Upper St. Clair school district. There’s some variety in terms people, but not as much diversity as I would like. Although I was unsure if I would fit in, I do. USC is not just snobby, affluent people like I thought it might be, although those people are here too. In my 3 years in USC, I’ve found it to be a lovely place with many kind and supportive people, and USC even went blue in the recent presidential election. Living in such a picturesque town does improve my mental health.

• Very little traffic and kinder drivers

Most Pittsburgh drivers seem to be looking out for me more than I look out for myself (of course there are always exceptions), and traffic here is not even comparable to DC traffic.

• Low cost of living

In USC, the home prices plus albeit high property taxes still equal a much more affordable life than what we experienced in a suburb of DC that was nice but not nearly as lovely. There’s a wide variety of home prices here, contrary to what I thought growing up in Washington, PA.

• My parents live close by

There is no way to measure how much having my parents living so close means to us. Other extended family on my side lives very close as well, and it’s a joy to be with family more and know Pearson will grow up with cousins close in age.

The DC area will always have a place in my heart and is a joy to visit, but I could never live there again. My twenties and thirties gave me greater stability with bipolar, but when I became a mom, my life in DC had reached its natural conclusion.

Did you leave a big city when you became a parent? Did it help your mental health, or do you miss city life? Tell me in the Comments!