No matter which side you’re on, the stakes feel higher than ever. If you’re someone with bipolar or another mental health issue, buckle up, put on a helmet in addition to your face mask, and brace yourself for the worst. Hell, even if you’ve never experienced a drop of anxiety in your life, I’m willing to bet that you’re not going to be feeling as cool as a cucumber from now until election day. Imagine if we don’t have a clear winner on election day? It could be dragged through the courts for months. So we need a plan! We need to decide what election coverage we will watch and what is not worth it. I would love to be able to watch every single event and not have my bipolar affected, but I know that I cannot and should not. Here’s my plan for the next month or so until this election is (hopefully) over. I’m going to include news watching and news reading in this plan because the election is the biggest news story right now.  

The Presidential and Vice-Presidential Debates. I feel a strong pull to watch these debates, as though it is my civic duty to hear what is said by each candidate as well as out of a gross fascination of sorts. Like everyone else in this country, I already know who I will vote for and that will not change, but I still feel that I should watch, that someday I need to be able to explain to my daughter every little detail about this unprecedented election. That said, here’s what happened.

First presidential debate on Sept 29: Did I watch? A little. I watched the first 15 minutes of the debate before I turned it off. I started to have shortness of breath and felt like I wanted to jump out of my skin, which is probably how many Americans were feeling, mental health issues or not, so I went to bed. Upstairs in my bedroom, I could still hear the debate, which was irritating. Bryan was watching the debate in the basement, and sound carries through the vents. I couldn’t make out actual words, but I could hear the distinctive voices of the candidates. I tried turning on the fan in the adjoining bathroom to drown them out, which worked when I was in the bathroom but not in the bedroom. Thankfully I wear earplugs to sleep, so once I was ready I got into bed and put them in as usual. Sweet relief! However, I could not get comfortable. The comforter was not laying right, so I got out of bed three times to try to fix it, something I never do. By this time I was feeling heart palpitations in addition to the shortness of breath. I couldn’t stop thinking about the trainwreck of the debate. I managed to fall asleep fairly easily, but I woke up with a migraine. 

During and after the first presidential debate, my body was screaming at me to never watch another debate again, but I still feel like it is my obligation. I don’t know if I will watch future debates, but the fact that I’m torn means I might end up watching. 

Vice-presidential debate on Oct 7: Did I watch? A little more. I watched the first 25 minutes of this debate. I would have watched more, but when my bedtime came, I went to bed. Still, like the first presidential debate, I walked away with shortness of breath but no palpitations and no migraine the next morning. Once again, I could hear the voices of the candidates in my bedroom as I got ready for bed, but I wasn’t as bothered by them.

Second presidential debate on Oct 15: Cancelled. Both candidates held town halls on different networks instead. I watched a good bit of the Biden town hall, and I actually didn’t know that Trump held a town hall at the same time. Watching the Biden town hall did not faze me. Ditto for reading the transcript from the Trump town hall.

Third presidential debate on Oct 22: Will I watch? Sadly, I think so. A little. I shouldn’t watch, and I’m going to try not to, but I don’t think I’ll be able to stay away.

The supreme court nomination process: Am I watching? Definitely not. I included this because I believe it is tied in with the election. Honestly, this is the least of my concerns right now. I know that the nominee will be confirmed, and I’m sure I will see highlights on social media. That’s enough for me.

Returns on election night: Will I watch? Yes, at least here and there. Four years ago, I chose to go to bed rather than wait up for the results of the 2016 presidential election. I’m so glad I did, since instead of the TV telling me the results, my loving husband gently broke the news when I woke up in the morning. It was the best way for me to hear it. I probably will do the same and go to bed before hearing who was elected to keep myself healthy and get enough sleep (if I can sleep!). Still, I can’t totally sit out on election night. It’s too consequential for all of our lives to stay completely out of it.

Will I watch election coverage on the news on TV? No, I won’t do any daily news watching. I didn’t watch before the election coverage ramped up or during, and I won’t watch after the election.

Will I read about election coverage online (news articles or on social media)? Yes. Reading news means I can decide which topics feel safe for me.

Will I write about politics and the election on social media? Yes. I have found that I have no ill effects from expressing my opinions on the election online. It feels good to be able to participate in the election process in this way, especially since I can’t fully participate in other ways. 

Will I vote? ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY. Come hell or a manic episode that has me committed for months, I will vote. (Don’t worry—that is extremely unlikely, about as unlikely as me winning the presidency with write-ins. Just a little bipolar humor.)

How is presidential election anxiety causing problems in your life? Is there any election coverage that you stay away from? Tell me your plan in the Comments!