(6/7) A DEPRESSIVE EPISODE

I really feel for those who suffer from major depression. One of my toughest experiences with depression was in 2013 after returning from an incredible trip to Europe with Bryan (I know—what could be depressing about that!?). After returning from such a life-changing trip where we experienced a whole new world, the humdrum of our daily lives felt gray and dull. I was prepared to have some manic symptoms in Europe based on my excitement for the trip, but I wasn’t prepared for the onset of depression upon our return and how dark my life would become. It got to the point where I could not imagine living anymore if it didn’t get better. I kept telling myself that it would get better and, as a way to keep going, would remind myself how much pain taking my life would cause my loved ones. When I imagine those months in my mind, they seem so dark that they are almost totally black, like a thick, dark fog you can just barely see through. I can feel the danger and understand why someone would want to end their life to escape that place. Major depression is scary and uncertain in a way that mania has never been for me. If you are in this place, please contact your doctor immediately or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.