World Bipolar Day 2021 was held on Tuesday, March 30. The vision of World Bipolar Day is to bring world awareness to bipolar disorders and to eliminate social stigma, with the goal being to bring information about bipolar disorders to the world population that will educate and improve sensitivity toward the illness.
In honor of World Bipolar Day, I did my first Ask Me Anything on Facebook! The questions and answers are reprinted below. I have removed the names of those who asked the questions.
Q. Hi Jess, what is a common misconception about bipolar disorder?
A.This is such a good question. It’s difficult to pick just one. A common misconception is that if people with bipolar would just take their meds, they would be fine and never have mania or depression again. There is no bipolar med that is an immediate cure all forever. Some people find meds that do help tremendously but they still have to work hard at self care to stay well and still cannot avoid bipolar symptoms all the time. Some people are treatment resistant, meaning there are no meds that help them. Some meds might help symptoms but have such horrific side effects for some people that they cannot take them. I could go on and on about this, but the sad truth is that lots of people with bipolar are doing everything right—taking meds, taking care of themselves, etc.—and they still deal with mania and depression.
Q.Is there anything that you would consider as an “upside” of having bipolar?
A.My knee jerk reaction is: NO!!!! With more thought, I’d say having bipolar has made me a lot more empathetic, not only to those with mental health struggles but also to those with physical struggles or even an everyday worry or problem. I take other people’s issues, even if small, very seriously because I know from experience how even small things can affect someone’s day. I think I’m a better friend because of it (but you’d have to ask my friends!).
Q.You’ve said that since you went public with your bipolar, your related stress has decreased. Do you think it’s because you went public, or did less stress allow you to go public?
A. Less stress allowed me to know my bipolar could withstand going public, but then going public miraculously lowered my bipolar-related stress even more. I thought that going public would cause some low-level symptoms, but I was willing to deal with the fallout because finally being honest about who I am was so important to me. Instead, after the announcement, I went a whole year symptom free (that’s a long time for me). I think rather than stress we’re really talking about bipolar symptoms and the stress of worrying that symptoms would emerge.
I actually considered going public with my bipolar at least a year before I did. My dad was about to have pretty major surgery, so I put it off until the following year on my 40th birthday. That year gave me time to be sure I was ready and that my bipolar was stable enough to deal with the attention that was likely to come my way and to deal with working on the series of posts I published about bipolar. The posts are all on my blog (under “how I announced having bipolar”). Here’s the first post.
Q.Do you get any “warning signs” that you might be heading toward a manic phase or depressive phase? If so, what are those signs and how do you react to them?
A. I do! The warning signs might be different for everyone with bipolar, but then again maybe not.
Manic phase: I start to lose sleep each night consistently. Not necessarily a lot. Maybe a half hour, maybe an hour. Maybe I wake throughout the night. This is only important if it happens night after night for a few nights at a minimum. I also start feeling beyond tired, probably because of the loss of sleep. I’m a parent, I feel tired all the time lol…this is an in-your-bones type of tiredness. If either of those happen, I contact my dr immediately, per his instruction, BEFORE mania hits. Sometimes I also catch myself clenching my jaw or my toes. This could be from anxiety or pre-mania, but I pay attention to it.
Depressive phase: Depression is so much more elusive. The only sign is that I’ll be feeling really down but not necessarily depressed yet. I’ll feel this tipping point in terms of going into depression. I don’t dip into depression that often so it’s hard to say if there are other warning signs.
As I said, I react to the warning signs for mania by emailing my psychiatrist and telling him exactly what is going on (losing sleep, etc), first and foremost. He will usually up my Seroquel, an antipsychotic, which will help induce sleep. I go to bed earlier to try to make up for lost sleep or to counteract if I’m still losing sleep. I will rest more, let my husband wrangle our child, and cut out household chores like cooking and cleaning. I take time alone if I can and if I can stand being away from my family, usually by going to my parents’ house and laying around/watching something nonstimulating on TV. I will usually still work but will take a day or two off if really necessary. I need to calm my mind and body so my mind can do the same and lessen the power of the mania, because the mania is still coming no matter what.
I react to the warning signs for depression the same as for mania.
Q.What are some coping skills that help you feel better?
A. Here are some of the coping skills I’ve come up with over the years:
sleeping 9 h a night on a set schedule every day (this is crucial–I cannot stress enough how important a sleep routine is for those of us with bipolar)
exercising (right now the elliptical but I switch it up since I get bored). Yoga is probably best.
eating (mostly) healthy stuff
avoiding caffeine, so no regular coffee or most sodas
having daily/weekly routines (doing my skin care routine after putting Pearson to bed every night, doing laundry every Sat morning, exercising during my lunch hour, etc). People with bipolar tend to be creatures of habit. Predictable routines are comforting; unpredictability is hard for us to handle and can lead to mania.
Q.How much or how little do you say to your daughter about whats going on? What does daddy tell her if you need some time for yourself?
A.I’m glad you asked–I was hoping for a family question!
Our daughter just turned 5. We haven’t told her much, partly because I’ve been very stable nearly her whole life so it didn’t really come up, partly because it’s hard to explain something like bipolar and mental illness in words young kids will understand, and partly because I feel inept at doing so and haven’t done much research on it yet.
If anyone has advice or books on how to explain mental illness to young children, let me know!
I have told her that I write a blog called Our Bipolar that is about me and other people whose brains are different than most.
When I’ve needed to rest outside our home (never overnight), Bryan and I have told her that mommy needs alone time, she isn’t feeling well, etc. All true, but it feels like a cop out. I’ve found bipolar to be really hard to explain to a kid aged 2, 3, or 4.
Honestly, sometimes the alone time that I need for a bad migraine is the same as for impending manic symptoms. I feel like that is a good way to level the playing field in terms of physical and mental illness and am happy our daughter will see that growing up. I plan to be open and honest with her about my illness as age permits.
Please ask any questions you still may have about bipolar or my life with bipolar in the Comments below!
With more thought, I’d say having bipolar has made me a lot more empathetic, not only to those with mental health struggles but also to those with physical struggles or even an everyday worry or problem. I take other people’s issues, even if small, very seriously because I know from experience how even small things can affect someone’s day. I think I’m a better friend because of it (but you’d have to ask my friends!).